may as well get in with the in crowd

i dont get it.

2008-02-17T12:14:00.002-05:00

the other day i was watching dr. phil (i know i know) and the subject was engaged couples who don't belong together. they were cheating on each other and disrespecting each other and generally being awful people. so it makes me wonder why people get themselves into these situations.

i really dont understand. you dont HAVE to be with someone.. and why be with someone who you dont respect/doesnt respect you. is avoiding loneliness really that important that you'd seek happiness with someone who obviously isnt right for you?

on valentines night i was at the bar and a guy was throwing himself at me. he was 38 and married. and in his throwings i asked him, why arent you at home with your wife? he says to me "she's mad at me" its 8PM on valentines day and you're at a bar trying to pick up a 23 yr old, i wonder why she's mad at you.

he said he's been married for 2 years. i feel like that time is still supposed to be spicy and interesting. not to say that if he'd been married for 10 yrs that he should be out kicking it..

but.. all in all i just don't get it.

6 years

2008-01-12T22:57:00.000-05:00

this will be my 6th year living in philadelphia. nothing remarkable has happened. sounds like it's time to go!

atlantic city

2007-12-22T08:51:00.000-05:00

i'm about to go to atlantic city to meet jon and buy a computer from him. he has a hatchback and we're going to do it in a really shady way.

i havent seen him in over a year but i talk to him every single day. its funny how you can maintain relationships with people, the key is communication and mutual interest. it really doesnt make a difference where the other person is physically or in their own life.

i say this so no one can say anything about me running away from home. :)

i have off of work until wednesday morning. i am unsure as to what to do with myself, a girl can only stand so much daytime tv. i can only watch so many technical school commercials.

i still havent done any xmas shopping.

a resolution or two..

2007-12-20T10:55:00.000-05:00

every year i am always sure to make a few resolutions.. i'm always pretty good at keeping them too. I'm sure that if you've known me for a while you can think of a few of them..

so for 08 i'm thinking that i need to work on my organization skills, or lack thereof.
maybe start writing things down.. and actually planning things instead of living by the seat of my pants (believe me its not as exciting as it may sound)

i need need to get a drivers license.. i have a permit.. but the thing is i'm just a really really really terrible driver. i've tried a few times and i am just so uncomfortable with the whole thing. i dont know why. i feel like the driving test wouldnt really have any similarities to what it would really be like on the road so even if i passed, i would still suck at driving and probably die and kill a bunch of people.

i need to work on not being afraid of all of the things that im afraid of.. i dont know how to do that though.

ive got my work cut out for me in 08.

oh yea and i need a passport.

it's been a month

2007-12-16T18:02:00.000-05:00

my day to day has been the same. my life is still pretty boring yet unpredictable.

i am sitting here watching a cartoon called "grandma got run over by a reindeer" it started with a savage attack on grandma and is now all flashbacks leading up to the event. its funny how grandma is called grandma at her job and all other walks of her life.

i am going to colorado in a few days. its funny how you can end up going places that you totally would never expect yourself going. like susan marshall not only going to the midwest.. but going in january..

i'm not excited for christmas.. i bought a few gifts for people but the mall is just way too ridiculous for me at this time.. it smells like too many people and impatience.

a toys r us burnt down yesterday.. i wish i was there to save all of the poor defenseless xboxes.

i'll post more :)

small talk

2007-11-13T18:06:00.001-05:00

waiting for the bus this morning a woman comes up to me and says 'it's gonna be like this all week'

i have never seen this woman before in my life, and i don't exactly understand why she thinks i would be interested in talking about the weather. even worse, complaining about the weather. its weather. not like there is a typhoon.

she also went along to say to me.. "have you ever considered modeling, you're so... tall"
being tall isn't a compliment. neither is saying that someone should be a model. so all i said to her was "no"

don't talk to strangers.

something quick

2007-11-11T09:06:00.001-05:00

i went to karaoke at a new place last night for cash prizes $$ (i tied for 2nd) but i digress..

its funny everytime i grab a microphone somewhere that i've never been how people brace themselves because they think that since i'm black im gonna bust out some whitney houston octaves and whatever else.

i know this because i hear them whispering before i start singing.

jokes on them! :)

el vez

2007-11-04T18:51:00.000-05:00

el vez may be the best restaurant in the entire world.

i was just reminiscing about how good my meal there yesterday was. i wish i could learn how to cook that sort of stuff. maybe with all my new free time i'll take up cooking. it would save me a whole lot of money.

philadelphia is a very angry city.

2007-11-04T09:38:00.000-05:00

everyone just seems so unhappy all of the time.

i know that new yorkers are known for being no nonsense.. but atleast they arent marketed to be nice people.

why call it the city of brotherly love if everyone hates each other and kills each other all of the time?

you see bus drivers curse out crossing guards, who curse out cops, who curse out kids, who curse out every living thing ever.

when i see people on the street who look lost i give them directions, i hold open doors, and offer up all those other boy scout related actions.. i'm starting to believe that i might be the only source of that brotherly love that they advertise.

i wish the eagles would win so everyone could just relax.

random sunday thoughts

2007-10-28T15:33:00.000-04:00

i want to be a flight attendant. i think i would be good at it. and i could go all around the country and see a bunch of sites. i would just want to do it for a little while. maybe a few years.. after awhile i'm sure everything being different all of the time gets just as boring as everything being the same.

i'm gonna look into a way to do that. i'm good at waitressing, it would essentially be the same thing plus the in-flight movie, and the risk of a fiery painful death.

i am watching a bunch of lifetime movies on LMN today, and the theme since its halloween weekend are people who will stop at nothing to get what they want. its just crazy that these sorts of things really do happen to people. and that you never know what life has in store for you in the upcoming years. (word of advice: never hire a nanny that is better looking than you)

i saw a commercial for medication for restless leg syndrome.. and the side effects were so hilarious:

Mirapex may cause you to feel drowsy, or fall asleep during normal activities, such as driving... or to feel faint or dizzy when you stand up. Tell your doctor if you experience these problems. If you drink alcohol, are taking medicines that make you drowsy or if you experience increased gambling, sexual, or other intense urges. Other side effects include nausea.

restless legs may be an inconvenience, but come on.. is that a fair trade? having fidgety legs or being a narcoleptic sexual predator?

but yea, i wanna be a flight attendant.

they did the mash...

2007-10-25T08:40:00.000-04:00

so, in september i told myself to go out and buy a halloween costume. early september, because i knew what was going to happen.

i'd wait until the very last possible minute and end up at target buying the only costume left, a large male prisoner striped jumpsuit.

well, time passed and i didnt get around to getting a costume. i looked online at a few things.. but it's hard to determine what you would look like in anything online because they only have playboy bunnies modeling all of the costumes. (size small 32waist, 75chest) (i hadn't realized that dorothy, the scarecrow, the tinman, and the lion all happened to be women.. and all happened to be exceedingly busty)

the quality is also always an issue.. everything is made out of tissue paper and nylon. so you pretty much have to see it in person before buying it. or who knows what you would end up with.

anyhow, yesterday i purchased a costume.. and its of good quality and its pretty funny. i just hope not too many people chose it other than me.

sorry blog

2007-10-19T01:14:00.000-04:00

i didnt mean to be so debbie downer-ish for my last couple of entries.

i need to re-read the secret. maybe i'm losing that brand new lease it gave me on life.

don't worry, i'll get right on it.

ohhhh, the weather outside is frightful

2007-10-18T00:20:00.001-04:00

so..

i hate the fall.
i hate the winter..
i kind of hate the spring.

i need to go on an African safari or something.

i just want it to be 95 and clear all of the time.
is that too much to ask?

all this talk of global warming and i still have to worry about it being in the 70s.
i need an aerosol can.. im gonna take matters into my own hands.

2007-10-17T00:48:00.001-04:00

"the whitest black person"

2007-10-15T18:30:00.000-04:00

okay.. this is a subject that i will touch upon lightly at this time.

for any of you that has used this phrase in the past, do yourself a favor and don't use it anymore. do the world a favor and don't use it anymore.

i am unsure as to if it supposed to be an insult or a compliment, and regardless of which one you set it out to be my life would be a lot better off if i didn't hear it at all.

if we are friends you shouldn't be insulting me, if we aren't friends you shouldn't be talking to me.. and if you think you are giving me a compliment by saying that, you are sadly mistaken.

what it all comes down to is i don't want to hear it. i'm not going to explain myself or argue with you. i will just shut it out and continue on with my regularly scheduled day.

it's sad if today the standards of whiteness are being an absolutely regular person. sad for both white people and non-white people.

but like i said i won't get into detail with this. it's too annoying.

so iCreep

2007-10-13T01:48:00.000-04:00

its funny how many stories you hear about people using these hifalutin new age internet communities for evil.

by 2013 facebook is probably going to be the leading reason for divorce.. and irreconcilable differences will come a close third to myspace.

i'm sure that you, and everyone that you know has looked at someones whatever page for a little too long or maybe a little too often. i recently read something in someones blog.. (if i remember i'll add a link) and it was saying to get over someone you have to stop looking at their web communities and delete their cell number.

makes me wonder how people got over each other back in the day.

"i'm gonna cross his name out of my address book, and i wont beep him 911"

it's funny to think that i don't really know how i would get by without a cell phone. i know that the world managed to function with out them for many years.. but i have no clue how anyone could find me if i didn't have all of the 1,000 modes of communication that are used these days.

i wonder what new developments are going to entrap us next.

(i hope its taste-ovision)

the case of the drunken old-head.

2007-10-12T00:39:00.000-04:00

i have a big problem with approaching people.. or even asking people questions that i would potentially dislike the answer to. i wouldnt ask anyone "do you like this picture of me?" or "don't you agree that i'm the best person you've ever met?" because i don't want to hear the possible no.

maybe thats not how life should be but that is how i am.

my homies were out smoking while we were at the irish pub tonight.. and a guy comes up to me to tell me how amazingly beautiful he thought i was.. i said "uhh, thanks" because i didn't particularly want to talk to him. granted i was alone.. but i'd rather occupy my time with re-reading my text messages, thinking up fantastical situations, or staring at my PBR than talking to old-head stranger dudes.

he asked me if he could by me a drink.. which is equivalent to asking me to say yes.. so i said yes, and had a shot so i wouldn't have to deal with him for too long for an actual drink.

my hombres came back in and old head continued staring at me.. since i decided i'd leave the bar at 11:30 i wrapped things up and peaced out.. i gave my brother a call and talked to him for a while about relevant current events. (see: baseball)

homeboy got on my bus, and sat right in front of me. stared at me while i was on the phone.. waited for me to get off then asked me if i'd like to get a drink some time again at the ipub.

that brings me to my point of this blog..

do men factor in WHO they are talking to? or if they person would potentially.. REALISTICALLY be interested in them? supposed i was as amazingly beautiful as you said.. do you think that i am waiting to meet the right 50 something yr old drunken man at the irish pub?

i'd love to ask them about that.. the same way that i'd like to ask homeless people how they became homeless.

but i'm sure both of those inquiries would result in me having a relatively punched face, with potential chances of having my block knocked off.

i guess you never know what you can get unless you try..

why not?

2007-10-10T19:12:00.000-04:00

this day and age it seems as though everyone's got some sort of blog going. i feel like the odds are in my favor that ALL of those people aren't more interesting than me.

i hope i dont get a complex from that last statement. (i could see myself being prone to complexes)

i am unsure as to how personal i am supposed to get here. i've read other peoples blogs before and its a toss up as to how much people say.

i suppose i'm a reasonably open book. not like i have any saucy scandals going on anyway.

anyway.

i'm talking to jon about 'building character'..
those situations where life gives you lemons and 100% of the juice lands squarely in your eyes. it seems like a lot of those 'life experiences' happen to innocent people (i.e: myself, and jon) but no karmic graces seem to weigh any of it out.

"i sure am glad that i got robbed last night.. it really taught me to get home before 4pm'

its like in the arcade when you play foosball for 7 hours and have a boatload of tickets to redeem for the eraser of your choice. i feel like i've been playing the proverbial foosball of life for 23 years now and all i have is cramp in my arm. i think i'd like the option to redeem all these 'character points' i've racked up.. cause i'm pretty sure i've rolled a couple of 100s.

i guess our day will come, if we just wait awhile.